Hi all!
Yes, I'm actually posting. And technically speaking, I shouldn't be, I have an assignment due tomorrow that is not quite finished... but I am, so lets get on with it.
I've been seeing these pop up one after the other lately, so I'm going to share with you my top 5 favourite POKEMON CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!! YAYYY!!!!
5. ROTOM'S BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN WE THINK
And there are more of them than we ever thought. It's hard to talk about this one, so I will make my point with just this
4. GENGAR IS CLEFAIRY'S SHADOW
Yeah, it's hard to argue with this one. Gengar is a ghost type pokemon and known as the shadow pokemon. Creepy enough. But the physical resemblance between these two pokemon is amazing. The pointy ears, the weird wing-things on their back and their simplistic limbs, it's incredible. Take a look at this
Mind = blown
3. KANGASKHAN IS CUBONE'S DEAD MOTHER
If you stop and think about it, it kinda makes sense. Cubone wears the skull of his dead mother, and Kangaskhan is born with a freaking baby. These don't make sense unless you pair the two up. If cubone eventually evolved into Kangaskhan then it's easily explained. Kangaskhan raises it's baby in it's pouch, and when it comes to die, releases the baby to be it's own pokemon, this baby is distraught to lose a mother it's been so close to, so it (somehow) takes it's skull as defence and one of it's bones as a weapon. But where's the middle ground? Right under your goddamn noses. We all know M' otherwise known as Missingno's sister. If you do the famous old man hack, you can catch it, and here's the fun part, if you level it, it evolves into OMFG KANGASKHAN! It's theorised that nintendo decided it was way too dark to put this story in a kid's game, so at the last minute they made a new evolution for cubone and made kangaskhan a standalone pokemon, putting the old pokemon in an unused slot, no. 0. Personally, I would rather hear this dark story than live with the confusion that cubone and kangaskhan brought me for eons.
Oh, by the way
...shit
2. THERE WAS A GODDAMN GENERATION KILLING WAR
Again in the red/blue games, many players have noticed the lack of middle aged men, the player himself doesn't have a father and your rival is an orphan. when you set off for your adventures you're warned about the dangers of the world repeatedly, yet your mum says "all boys need to leave home eventually" ...alright. As you roam around all you find is old men and little kids frolicking in the monster-ridden wilderness. And here's the cherry; when you challenge Lt. Surge, he mentions how these electric pokemon "saved my life in the war." ...WHAT? WHAT WAR? So apparently there was a massive war, so massive that it killed an entire generation but a few, i.e. the players mum and that the players generation is the first to grow up in peace since the war ended. This explains a whole lot, doesn't it?
1. YOU KILLED GARY'S RATICATE!
Okay, so in the red/blue games your rival blue/gary uses a raticate a lot and then suddenly it's gone. So what, right? It's a useless pokemon, who wouldn't box it? Here's the catch, the first time you see him without it, he's in the tower in freaking lavender town! You know, that place where people go to mourn dead pokemon? Not only that, but he comments on how "your pokemon don't look dead". To further screw with your heads, we go back in time, to the last time we saw this raticate alive. On the goddamn S.S. Anne. So, the theory goes that when you smashed Gary's annoying butt on the boat, you beat his Raticate to near death. With no pokemon centres on the boat he had to pray that he could reach land before he lost his friend, unfortunately he was unable to get there fast enough, and decided to bury and mourn his friend at lavender town, where who should he find but his friends killer?! This explains why he goes all pricky after that.
That's all from me for now
Ciao,
Shigure
